Why Does Roger Goodell Hate Plants?

Imagine going to work six days a week and getting your brain bashed in by three hundred pound super-humans, just for your boss to encourage you to develop a pill habit rather than just enjoy a natural herb that everyone loves. The men who have the job we’ve all dreamed of live a life of excruciating aches and pains. The NBA has gone the respectable route in recent years by essentially giving a blind eye to the herbal remedy, so why not the National Football League? I mean for heaven’s sake Roger, if Josh Gordon wants to own a small business on the side who are you to kill his hopes and dreams? Maybe his old pal Johnny Football needs a little bud in the morning to recover from his night of cocaine, which was used to overcome drowsiness of the previous afternoon’s Xanax. Maybe Le’Veon Bell and LeGarrette Blount really needed those puffs to get through a long summer in Pittsburgh a few years back. Either way if anyone in the world deserves to roll up a smooth B to relieve some pain and stress, it’s the players in the NFL.

Josh Gordon High.jpg

Image from Daily Snark

We’ve all known for some time that there are many outdated rules in the modern NFL, and somehow this league is only getting more old-fashioned in certain ways. Various changes to how the league tolerates celebration has proven that Goodell and the owners have no idea what direction they’re trying to push. Congress should be the perfect example to the NFL of how not to progress. Sure, I love this country and grew up with an appreciation for our government and how it works, but if anyone can learn anything from the United States’ Congress, it’s that non matter how many old, rich, white guys come together to make changes, it never ends in anything but recycled ideas and halted progress. This is where I’d love to see the owners to more to work with the NFLPA to make these types of changes. Ask any of the hundreds, possibly thousands of ex-pro’s who left the league with an unhealthy reliance on painkillers the league deemed “legal”. The whole thing is a complete and utter shitshow.

If you want studies, numbers, and honestly not the ramblings of a Red Bull-infused college student then I’m sure you could find any number of lovely articles from the real media one this topic. But since you’ve already made it this far, let these guys smoke their weed. Maybe once we get those suspensions out of the way we can work on any one of the hundred or so yearly domestic violence suits. God Bless the NFL.

Author: Woody

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