My Life Finally Has Purpose

It’s been a long road to where I am today, many hard fought battles against both the opponent and myself. A true test of sheer will and determination this was, and as of nine last night I’m officially an Intramural Champion.

Nothing in my life has ever quite made me this happy. Getting into college was an exciting day, and then my first weeks here were fun as well. This tops all of them though. Team Kiss My Ace of the intramural volleyball league at my school was a powerhouse from the start, boasting a full co-ed roster of high school washups ready to relive the glory days. Just to insure our fate as champions, we may or may not have snuck a current girl’s volleyball player at our school onto the roster under a fake name. Definitely didn’t though incase someone in a position of power is reading. I prefer my Championship banners without asterisks next to them. I know some of you might say this is a skeevy move, but it had to be done. A wise man once told me, “If you’re not cheating you’re not trying”, and I’ve lived by it ever since.

After an 0-2 start the team had lost our vision. After picking up a quick win in game three, we tossed in a forfeit or two for various reasons(games were played at 10 pm on Thirsty Thursdays). After game four the locker room atmosphere had changed drastically. Things were serious now, everyone made the playoffs but we wanted home court. This was our time to shine and nothing was stopping us. The squad banned together for four straight wins to end the regular season, and a clean sweep of the playoffs without even losing a game. What a true display of dominance this was. Christ we looked like Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh-Jennings battering balls at helpless children. It was as if the full brunt of the US Military had decided to invade a small village outside of Costa Rica. No hope for the opponents and that was right where we wanted them. Now I don’t want to get into the whole “Jacob, shouldn’t intramural sports at a DIII college not be the biggest source of fulfillment in your life?”. In this world, some people are winners and some are losers. While I do lose very, very frequently it was not going to happen this time. I’m officially a champion and any challengers will have to wait a long year before they get another swing at the belt(t-shirt).

Author: Woody

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