It’s always so bittersweet to watch a team lose so consistently for so long, unless of course that team is Cleveland. Chicago is a sports city through and through, with fans that are just self-deprecating enough to not be totally unbearable. The bright side to all of this comes in Chicago’s particular style of losing. Having one of football’s worst front offices, year after year we see one of the League’s most storied franchises attempt cap gymnastics to better the team but almost immediately fall right off the balance beam into a fiery, fiery dumpster. After finally getting Smokin’ Jay off the books last year and drafting a top quarterback prospect in Mitch Trubisky things began to look up. But as we all knew, that front office wasn’t getting off with a clean slate for 2017. It’s come to many fans attention that the Chicago Bears are currently paying five different kickers over the course of this season. After cutting longtime veteran Robbie Gould in 2015, the team still owed him four million dollars over the next two years. To begin the season, the team threw another million dollars at Connor Barth to kick for the 2017 season. After having a field goal percentage just above 65% and missing this game tying field goal against the Lions by approximately 300 yards, the team let him go.
Next up on the docket was Hall of Fame bust Roberto Aguayo who was claimed off waivers to try out for the team. The tryout cost the team a little over $400,000, and a fun fact is that currently Aguayo is having his beak wet by three different teams. After yet another step in the wrong direction they turned to ex-Chiefs legman Cairo Santos, who was cut due to injury earlier this year but apparently Chicago was willing to pay the medical bills. Though probably the most talented and well named kicker since Gould’s departure the team payed $200,000 more dollars for one and a half games of decent enough kicking. Last but not least the kicking carousel ends with Mike Nugent, brought in to finish the season after the Santos injury. In his few games he only missed two extra points, down from last years six for, yet again $200,000 more dollars against their cap.
Image from Sports Mockery
As you can see Bears fans truly appreciated what Gould did for them, but the cherry on top is that Gould outkicked all of these kickers by a substantial margin on his way to four all pro votes. The big story in all of this is that it’s just worth it to give an aging kicker a few million to maintain stability with almost every team’s highest scoring position. To be fair here Santos is a pretty talented young guy that should do well in the Windy City for years to come, but slap my ass and call me Sally if this isn’t such a classic Bears debacle to be in.